Holidays on Earth

Today, I went with my family to experience an Earthling trip. We were taking the bus over to Malaysia. It was quite a big bus and easily fitted us in. Well, we saw the customs as Earthlings called it, and we had to let those people see our passports, a process we would have to go through only when visiting other planets.

We even had a tour guide but I did not really listen because I was inputting this data into my PDA. Well, he asked if there were any vegetarians (those who ate only vegetables) on board, at least I found out one more thing about Earthlings.

Our first destination was the coffee shop. It had a bad smell, but luckily, it was not that strong. Many people ordered drinks, mainly iced drinks. It was a typical coffee shop with signs all over to indicate the different stores. In the corner, they sold magazines and CDs.

Right next to the coffee shop, there was a shop selling cuttlefish and other snacks, most of my family went there after a while because it is air conditioned, the displays were put on shelves and hooks near the walls. Others were put in carts in rows in the shop, better still, there was no bad smell.

And here we are again in the bus for another two hour marathon of sitting down, listening to the tour guide talking about the ostrich farm we were to visit later and our lunch and dinner arrangements. After that, he stopped talking and I could talk to my cousins and other people.

And now we reached the ostrich farm, we had to walk in but it appeared to be a great experience. We were allowed to touch those birds and feed them, they had long necks and heads, which made them, look very large, luckily they were gentle creatures. After we have seen them, we went to another part where we could eat ostrich meat, watch the young ostriches hatch and buy ostrich products.

After visiting the ostrich farm, we went for lunch. Yes I did say we did not need to eat but we can eat. Lunch took very long to come, and my relatives were getting impatient. Oh well, it finally came. It was supposed to be a seafood lunch but there was a full vegetable dish, i’m not really complaining though, there was crayfish and crab, and those were eaten up pretty quickly. They certainly knew which of the foods were good; did they really read the book [be a gourmet on Earth]?

We are now off to the fruit farm. We are sitting in the bus waiting for all the passengers to come up so it can move off. The fruit farm was, in my opinion, quite boring, not to mention hot, it was only when we went to the mini zoo that it became very interesting, they had goats and rabbits and we could feed the goats. There was a monkey that liked to chew on anything it got its hands on and even went to bite the microphone that the tour guide had. After that, we went to see the shops and buy some fruits, but there was no air conditioning. I hope that the next spot is cooler.

Shopping centres was the next destination. It was a big shopping centre all right, and it was cooler then staying out in the sun, but we were sitting at the fast food centre for most of the time after finding nothing to see, maybe it is just me. I saw many people walking around the place, and I was quite happy to see the bus that has come to take us to dinner.

Ok, it would have been a nice restaurant if it had not been for the crowd. They served us very late but they had chicken, fish and the usual vegetable, the same type as shown above. We had a hasty meal and left the place right after we had eaten.

The next destination was fireflies. I was very surprised to hear about it at first. On my planet, living things do not glow. And I was looking forward to seeing glowing creatures. We had to take the life jackets first before we could take the boat, the boat was long and there were seats at the side where we had to squeeze. There was still light when the boat moved off and I was wondering how we could see glowing creatures in the light. It got dark soon and I understood that Earthlings understood their conditions better. Yes, we did see the fireflies among the bushes and despite the warnings; I could not resist reaching out and trying to hold it. Yes, I got one eventually, but I opened my hand and it flew out. On some trees, they made the trees look like it had special shiny stuff hung on it.

And we had to go back to the country we came from. It would look strange if we had just teleported to my planet, and we took up almost half the bus. So we had to take the bus back to the customs and then teleport.

I think that this trip was very interesting, and it shows that there are a lot of mysteries on Earth that needs to be unravelled.

Looking like Earthlings

I had a comment in my c-box recently that made me feel that I should put in this post not only to allow the Earthling readers to have some knowledge of how I can walk among you yet not exposed but it is also crucial to my report, so that I may include a chapter on how Earthlings look like.

Well, for starters, I do not have to take any pills to change my appearance. I already look something like Earthlings, and it is the same with the people on my planet. I do not know why that is so, but it may have something to do with similiar atmospheric conditions and gravity, but whatever the reason, I think that it is good that I don't have to disguise myself all the time.

But don't think that I am scary. I am actually quite friendly.

Surviving on Earth

Well, surving on Earth is relatively easy after I brought the book [Earth and how to survive] with me from my planet and did whatever was written on it. First, I had to walk around and explore the places on Earth where I would frequent and then I had to know how to get there and stuff so as not to seem so unreal to the Earthlings.

The interesting thing was talking to the Earthlings, and also the most difficult to get right. The book said "show them that you know as much about Earth as they do", and I did just that and they keep telling me 'I know, I know'.

I should have known enough to flip the page, they explained there that I should not have told them that I know, just beheave naturally as if I were from Earth and know everything, the author should not have put down "show them you know a lot about Earth". Luckily the Earthling I was talking to did not suspect anything, I sometimes think that Earthlings do not really think we even exist, oh well, I think I do not have to behave just like the Earthlings anymore if they won't suspect anything.

I will talk about more of this in my next post.

Computers, Earthling toys

Today, I did a research on the computer and more importantly, the Internet. And I plan to base most of my research on the Internet, as it is the most important thing known to mankind.

The Internet is famous for being able to connect with people all around the world. You can buy things, discuss your interests and find out the latest happenings by a click of the mouse.

Many people like to use the chat room and discussion boards, and it is there where Earthlings are warned against scams and trickery. People can be lured by sweet words and be conned by con-Earthlings, and that is why the younger Earthlings must be strictly monitored, or so they say.

In the book [how to understand Earthling technology], there is a passage, loosely translated "the internet can be considered a planet by itself in terms of the amount of people there, and like a planet, there are both good and bad inhabitants", and it also warns us to be careful if using the internet.

On the bright side, the Internet is full of good inhabitants as well and that the good outweighs the bad.

In my opinion, the Internet makes things very convenient and I think that it is something worth having on our planet as well.

Earthlings and teachers

One thing I find out about Earthling teachers are that they are all Earthlings, so each of them is unique, unlike the robots we have. But because of that, the quality of the teachers are totally different. Some teachers teach the class and run away, some teach the class halfway and wait for the students to ask them questions. By reading the minds of the students, I figure that quite a lot of them have questions, but they still leave. There are some who like to teach till the very end of their classes, but many people complain of not having learnt a thing.

On the other hand, I can't believe that there is actually something on planet Earth that is not easy to learn. Namely maths. Ok i'm not complaining. I think I can handle it.

The class is quite friendly now, although a bit noisy. I still have to find out more for my report. The experts were not kidding when they said that Earthling minds are very difficult to understand.

Project research of Earthling schools

The first thing that went through my mind after looking at the school was "it looks just like any other building on Earth". I walked right in, following the directory and the location on my timetable. And of course I had to walk around the whole place twice before actually finding the right place. I stood right outside the door waiting for someone to open it for a while before realizing that my entire class was sitting right there, along the corridor near the currently empty classroom.

I randomly selected someone to ask if I had come to the right class, I closed my eyes and opened them; the first one I spotted would be the one whom I asked the questions. And after all that talk, yes I was at the correct class. "Now, all we have to do is wait for the teacher", I thought. I was proved right when the teacher came by and opened the door for us, and I choose a seat near the front, and yes there were people around me too. Halfway through the lesson, someone asked me something about what the teacher said. I decided that the teacher was not saying anything important, so I did not mind helping out.

From the example I quoted above, I decided that Earthlings were more willing to interact in a classroom setting. But I did not know the reason yet.

And no, I have not been talking to many of them yet. Maybe I will when I have settled down in this school.

But a few things I have learnt about Earthlings.

1. Most of them will approach you cautiously at first, as if you are some crazy person who will jump out at them and shout at them the moment they say something.

2. Teachers who talk a lot are more popular than those who don't talk at all. Those who don't talk at all look very fierce.

3. Earthling teachers like to talk about the rules and regulations on Earth, I know a lot by reading the book, roughly translated “how to make Earthlings think that you are normal”, but they insist on repeating it over and over again.

A summary. My Earth Project

As the title says, I am here to talk about my project, the write-up on earth. I have already seen possibly quite a lot on your planet, and I think that I have got the report on Earth and its surroundings, buildings, toilets and food centres done.

And now, what is left for me to explore is Earthling psychology. The way humans react to pain or attention, something like that. The people on my planet say that Earthling psychology is the most difficult part of the entire project. I don’t see how different they can be from us, but it would be interesting I hope. Besides, I will not be able to explore Earthlings emotional behaviours until I go to school, almost a week later.

My teachers back on my planet say that I should not use any “special abilities” that Earthlings do not have, but it is not a rule or anything. If it helps with my research, I will most certainly use them to assist me.

If there is anything more to write about Earth’s surroundings, I will post again. But if there is no more of them that I see, I will come back to tell you about how the first day of school is like.

Earthling toliets

I have to use the toliet too you know? Well, I had to find one and it was not a very good experience.

As soon as I stepped in, there was a strong and terrible smell. The floor was black and wet, and the sinks were filled with toliet paper. The smell of cigarette smoke was all over the air.

Oh well, I just went in and out quickly, telling myself that it was just an experiment and all that.